Building Meaningful Connections with Dr. Carlyle Naylor

By Robert White, Editor-In-Chief

In a world where men are conditioned to be strong, self-reliant, and emotionally reserved, deep and meaningful friendships often take a back seat. Male loneliness is on the rise, with research showing that men today have significantly fewer close friends than they did 30 years ago. Dr. Carlyle Naylor, pastor, life coach, and author of Gritty Friendships: Bringing Purpose and Value to Male Relationships, is on a mission to change that by helping men forge genuine connections that bring purpose and fulfillment to their lives.

Dr. Naylor’s journey into friendship advocacy began with a personal loss. Eight years ago, a close friend of his passed away suddenly at the age of 46. The tragedy left a lasting impact, especially since their friendship had gradually faded over time. “Nothing bad happened, we just started to drift away,” he recalls. “We moved a little farther apart, life got busy, and before we knew it, years had passed.” That experience became the catalyst for his book, where he explores the importance of maintaining strong male bonds, the barriers that prevent them, and the steps men can take to cultivate deeper relationships.

Friendships, according to Dr. Naylor, are not just about having someone to watch the game with or share hobbies—they are essential for emotional well-being, personal growth, and even longevity. Many men tend to form friendships around shared activities, but without intentional effort, those relationships often remain surface-level. Gritty Friendships challenges this norm, encouraging men to move beyond casual conversations and embrace emotional depth. “Men are waiting for someone else to go first,” Naylor says. “But if everyone is waiting, no one takes the initiative. We need to be willing to take that first step.”

One of the major reasons men struggle with deeper friendships is fear—fear of rejection and fear of vulnerability. “We’ve been taught to be strong and self-sufficient, and while there’s value in that, it can also be isolating,” he explains. “A lot of men don’t realize how much they’re missing out on by keeping their walls up.” True friendships, he believes, require honesty and investment. “It’s not just about having a friend to grab a beer with. It’s about having someone who genuinely cares about your well-being, who will call you out when needed, and who will walk through life with you.”

In Gritty Friendships, Dr. Naylor outlines a clear formula for building and sustaining meaningful male relationships. The first step is taking initiative, rather than waiting for friendships to develop naturally. “It starts with simply reaching out, making plans, and showing interest in someone else’s life,” he says. Shared experiences—whether it’s working out, going on a trip, or even just driving somewhere together—help to strengthen bonds. “Men do better when they’re not face-to-face, but side by side,” Naylor observes. “Some of the best conversations happen when you’re driving, staring at the road, rather than feeling pressured to maintain eye contact.”

Once a foundation is established, deeper conversations become key. Asking meaningful questions and genuinely listening creates an environment where vulnerability feels safe. “Most friendships stay at the level of sports, work, and hobbies,” Naylor says. “But real friendships happen when you start talking about things that matter—your struggles, your goals, your fears.” From there, friendships evolve into accountability. “True friends don’t just cheer you on; they call you out when needed. They hold you to a higher standard and help you become a better man.”

The final piece of the friendship formula is legacy—passing it on. Dr. Naylor experienced this firsthand when he reconnected with his late friend’s son years after his passing. “He was just 14 when his father died, and now he’s a grown man. We had coffee one day, and I realized that the friendship I had with his father was now continuing with him. It was a full-circle moment that really drove home the importance of investing in relationships.”

Loneliness, Dr. Naylor emphasizes, has serious consequences. It’s not just an emotional issue—it impacts mental and physical health. “We are wired for connection,” he states. “Having people in your life who genuinely care about you makes you stronger, not weaker.” His book serves as both a wake-up call and a guide, helping men recognize the value of friendship and providing practical steps to strengthen their relationships.

For those who struggle to make or maintain friendships, Gritty Friendships is an essential read. Whether you’re looking to reconnect with old friends, deepen existing bonds, or build new relationships from the ground up, Dr. Naylor’s insights offer a roadmap to meaningful connection. “We are better in relationships,” he says. “No one should go through life alone.”